I Think I Need Help... Poem by Alexis Weiermann

If you think I can help you,
You're wrong.
I can't even help myself.
I cry myself to sleep most nights.

If someone tries to offer help,
I tell them I don't need help.
Then I walk off in tears
Because I know I need it.

But I just can't seem to take it.
I tell myself to take it,
But I don't listen.

I just go on with my life
Thinking I'm fine,
And that some tears are normal.

But all the tears I've cried,
It's not normal.

I cry for many reasons.
Some of which I don't know.
Sometimes I cry so much
My face burns.

I tell myself to stop,
And be happy.

But I can't even smile anymore.

I tell myself to be happy because
I have a boy who loves me
And friends who listen.
It only works sometimes.

I'm always putting myself down,
Telling myself I'm fat,
And need to lose 20 more pounds.
Just so I can weigh 100 pounds.
Then it will be 90...80...70...50 pounds.
Will I ever stop?
Probably not.

I cry because I know it isn't going to happen.
I cry because I'm always put down.
I cry because I feel empty inside.
I cry because of the people I've lost.
I cry because I think I need help.