K.. K..


In Memory of...


memory floats in oblivion
trying to grasp the meaning
memory slowly floating away
when there is nothing to hold
memory going away
as the coffin lid is closed
memory disappearing from the mind
shovels of dirt falling on the lid
opening in the darkness
memories coming in a rush
crying
banging
no one hearing
tears falling to the ground
puddles of rain forming around
memories of me
fading from existence

Submitted: Thursday, March 01, 2007
Edited: Tuesday, January 25, 2011

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  • Amanda Lukas (4/24/2007 4:53:00 PM)

    I also believe it's the title that draws people to this particular poem. 'In Memory of...' is a phrase with which many potential readers might identify. For some, it may signify loss while others might see it as mysterious.

    As for the poem, its general idea is as fascinating as its title. I do agree with Scarlett that it could be developed a bit further. Maybe just a slight resurfacing will attract readers to the poem itself as much as they've been attracted to its title. (Report) Reply

  • Scarlett Treat (4/24/2007 12:19:00 PM)

    I rather agree with DODODR&CCG-K here, that the poem is aptly named. I, too, think that naming our work, just as in naming our children, is important. It is the 'Hook' on our homepage that draws our readers in, because, if they don't know us, that title is the only thing of interest that they see, except for our names.

    The thoughts of the poem are good, but I did rather feel that parts of it were just phrases strung together, and I would like to see this poem 'fleshed out' a bit with some further development. On the whole, however, it is good. Scarlett (Report) Reply

  • THE LAST REMNANT OF SANITY BIDS YOU ADIEU (4/24/2007 10:41:00 AM)

    I think that many of us have lost people in our lives, either to death, or to them or us moving on. The title is perfect, it is, IMO, what draws people in. So, you did a great job of naming your poem. Some people have no idea how to name their poems, and they name them something truly boring, which should be the first clue to not bother reading their work.

    The poem keeps us here because it flows nicely, it builds to a total surprise, and then we're kind of pummeled by the truth of the matter. Nice job, all around, KK. (Report) Reply

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