sheena blackhall

Freshman - 903 Points (18/8/1947 / Aberdeen)

In Praise Of Liam Neeson, Elizabeth Taylor, Orangey Etc - Poem by sheena blackhall

1.In Praise of Liam Neeson

Oh Liam Neeson, as tricky’s an anaconda
As well-endowed as an ape-king from Rwanda
They should build a statue of you, a Rhodes Colossus
For boats to sail under, heading for Cork or Knossos

Oh Liam Neeson, you of the Irish blarney
Breaker of hearts from Shanghai to Killarney
Like Moses, you could part most women’s seas
And bring an entire thé-atre to its knees

2.Elizabeth Taylor

As a piece of architecture,
Elizabeth Taylor was like a colossal house
The distance between her inner self and the door
Held labyrinths which lovers never escaped from

The garden of her body was kittenful,
Full of yowlings and scratching and hundreds of scarlet roses
Mirrors would be everywhere, de rigueur
The world would dropp by for tea and cookies
Neighbours would check in and out between rehab visits


3.The Come Back Kid

I was born devoid of come-back lines
Destitute of the slick quick-fire put-downers

Not for me the lightning repartee, shot from the lip
I smoulder in corners like a damp squib
Pick at my verbal scabs

At half past three in the morning
When even the death watch beetle’s nodded off
I sit bolt upright, the answer comes, Eureka.

When the rug’s pulled out from under me,
I go all Humpty Dumpty, egg on my face
Verbal sparring’s not for the heavy footed
For his pure cheek, I once punched a boy on the nose.
The perfect come-back.
My answer blossomed crimson for a week

4. Orangey (1952-1963)

A Hollywood cat knicknamed Orangey
Was mean as Attila the Hun
The scourge of the great movie moguls
That thespian son-of-a-gun
His performance in ‘Rhubarb’ was gripping
It won him a Patsy award
When he co-starred with Audrey Hepburn
He acted her right off the board
He appeared in his own TV series
So orange and fluffy and sassy
He was moody as Marlon Brando
In his day he was famous as Lassie!


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Poem Submitted: Friday, August 5, 2011

Poem Edited: Friday, August 5, 2011


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