In The Lands Of Shadows And Self Doubt. Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

Shadows crawl into depths to be embraced.
Trying hard to be positive.
So much to do, never enough time.
Sometimes it feels like I'm wasting time.
She doesn't want to be a friend.
She just wants help to the very end.
Then she'll move on.
Feeling used, feeling abused.
Time to say no, and that's okay.
Breaking free, tommorows another day.
I need help in a very serious kind of way.
But it's not worth a fake promise and insincere kind words.
My emotions are absurd, I know I love her.
But don't think I can trust what she offering just by word of mouth.
But I need to spend more time with her to be certain.
Will it be returned.
Not likely my head tells me.
Will she show me otherwise.
Or will she continue leaving me in this limbo.
Making a move is so hard to do.
When you don't trust your own instincts or judgements.
Every time she is feeling down I want hug her, hold her and tell everything is alright.
But something keeps holding me back.
She is so attractive, but that's not what pulling me towards her.
It's the intelligence behind her eyes.
I think she looks at me as if somehow she is better then me, at least that's how it feels.
So hard to tell what's real.
So many mixed feelings why is it that being in love treats the soul so horrible.
I hate it, but I don't want to be when we get along so well.
The lines are getting so blurry.
And it creates nothing but worry.
Of all the things that can go wrong.
Is she even attracted to me?
Or is it something more intellectual.
I don't want to make friendships awkward.
I don't want her to think I'm just trying to get in her pants.
Cause I've never felt that way about anyone.
But I don't want her to think I'm not interested in her especially, if she want to make something more of it.
Somethings should be only said person.
But I want to wait a good bit longer and spend as much time as I can getting to know the real her.
So the awkward feelings will continue much longer then antipated.