Infinite Nothing Poem by Cena Rose

If you ever read the poem Absolutely Nothing by this random kid then you would get this poem even more....


I learned my ABC’s
And my mother gave me a smile
Because I was small
With a slap for missing my chores
While my father was out
Making money for our lights
And the babysitter broke up my brother’s fight
And we saw the sun set
And had to go to bed
And my mother cried
Because there were no lights

I got an A in class
And she told me to learn more
And that she didn’t understand
Why I had one zero for homework
While he was working
Making money for the phone
And the babysitter left
Because he could not make money to pay for her too
And I broke up my brother’s fight
And I saw my mother’s tears
And tried to go to bed
But she came to my room, yelling
Because I forgot to clear the table

I asked to know about boys
And my mother talked to me at the beach
Since she never had her own talk
And she gave me my first nail polish
Saying it was hard for her
While he was on his cell phones
Making money for the rent
And the new nanny came
And learned how to break up my brother’s fights
And we saw our oldest brother leave
Because he hated them
And we had to eat out
And my mother did not take us
Because my father was home
And we couldn’t fall asleep
Because the phone kept ringing

I got a B in science
And she said I would never make it
Because of grades like that
And she hit me
While he was out (although supportive)
Making money for our car
And the nanny took us out
Because that stopped my brother’s fights
And we drove in the nanny’s car
Because we saw our car being towed
And we had to watch my mother and father fight
And before we went to bed
My mother yelled at us
And she could not take it
Because he was smiling

I didn’t want to pack
And she yelled
Because I was lounging
But really I was confused
Because he was not coming
And was not out
Because he was not working
Or making any money
And my friends told me
Why we could not always be with him
And I had said good-bye to the nanny
And my mom broke up my brother’s fights
By telling them to shut up
And I had to break them up
Later because that had not worked
And I learned what bad websites were
And what guilt felt like
And that I should not tell everything
Just because I felt guilty and sad
And that it was better
To block out all the noise
And maybe I could get some sleep

I asked for forgiveness
And she laughed
Thinking I was lying
Because while he was out
Because of my new ‘mom’ her
And I had cried for him to forgive me
For what I stole when I was eight
And I learned to never be a babysitter
And my brother’s stopped listening to me
And we moved again
And again
And I learned to shut them out (everyone out)
And I got over my shyness
Because we were probably going to move again (we did)
While my brother’s complained
That we moved too much
And I understood
That because we had little money
And my father was not out for us anymore (mostly)
That we had (I had) to sacrifice things
(Like sleep) because I had to
And never thought I shouldn’t
And she never believed it (never knew)

I didn’t ask for support
But she still laughed harder
Thinking I was missing a ‘pleasure’
Because I wanted to go vegetarian
And he was out and gone
Because he was with my step-mom
And we had moved (again)
And I learned that people couldn’t handle my things
But that I could handle theirs
Until they found out that I was a hypocrite
And then I had to stop
And ‘I’ became an ‘everyone else’
And I stopped caring for myself
But constantly worried
And my brother’s drove me to the wall
And my mother supported them (and didn’t believe me)
And I never figured out why people kept dying
And I missed my grandfather
And my aunt
And my uncle
And my other uncle
And a great older friend
And then my grandmother
But I know that they are gone
But it’s weird to see them not here
And I couldn’t go to bed
Because I couldn’t understand
And she never understood (or never cared to)

I asked to be left alone
And she was probably going to miss me (I had to do chores)
And I didn’t freaking care
Because the police couldn’t reach me
And I would be an ‘I’ if it killed me
And I didn’t want him to be here
And come with her
Or be hurt
And I knew I could never be a damn babysitter
And I didn’t give a damn about their fights
And I saw my own tears
On the freaking slashes on my wrist
And I needed out
Of this God-damn place
And I knew she would finally care
And she couldn’t yell anymore
And I was finally going to my freaking bed
Because I was infinite (Nothing)



This is my story... Everything here is true... it explains alot about me and is like my own mini bio....