Irresistable Lust Poem by Audrey O'shea

What do i have to freaking do?
i go rounds with people but nothings
true, inside and out i just think about you.

i say things i dont mean, and these lies
i dont speak, i really wish this reality was a dream,
cus then i could wait for the day i wake, im so darn weak.

i cant get that love from a guy, HE was my one and only, every person, everything i question it why, that even tho im not,
i've got this hurt in my heart and i feel so lonely.

its like my exsistence doesnt matter at all, to people who are supposed to be my friends, thats why its these overwhelming tears that fall, over broken trust and year old dust, that makes me unhinged.

when i speak people tune me in and out, until im so depressed with
sorrow i shout, so im insecure with doubt, until in consumes my
thoughts and its all i think about.

im so lost and not found, so i just think, i hear just one sound, these tears that crumble to the ground, as thru this flood and mess my heart drowns and sinks. This depression goes way back, its too darn deep, no one expects it or understands these terrible thoughts that run so black, the dreams just seep, this hate for myself jsut creeps, so inside myself i scream, i weep.

so what do i do? i can feel no trust, ive been broken down and stepped thru, this hunger for death turns into this irresistable lust.