Jack And Jill Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Jack and Jill went into town
to get some good tobacco
in town they met the town's own clown
who called old Jack a Wacko.
Jack said what the f**k are you
a clown with little breeding
they sent the clown to Timbuktu
where they required weeding.
So Jack and Jill bought a small house
inside the township proper,
where Jack shot with his gun a grouse
and had to see the copper.
They locked old jack inside a cell
the cell was full of faeces,
he stayed and later went to hell,
sprouse are endangered species.
Jill went to live with an old goat
he reeked of gorgonzola
all day and night he'd fill his throat
with diet coca cola.
One day the stimulation got
the better of his liver,
she put him in a flower pot
and dumped him in the river.
Alone again, Jill took up Gin
and drank to drown her sorrows,
when, with a huge satanic grin
the beast of all tomorrows
came to her bed one lonely night
and promised her the heavens,
the Lotto slip showed in the light
a battery of sevens.
Rich now beyond her wildest dreams
she drove a five point seven
and joined one of the racing teams,
that's where she found young Bevan.
She taught him cooking, golf and sex
he was an eager student,
he found a photo of her ex
and found it less than prudent.
Well, being young and innocent
he'd be in troubled waters,
one night they camped out in a tent
and later had two daughters.
They called one daughter Jill, of course
the other was named Jackie,
Jack was the name for the new horse
which some of us find tacky.
Well every story has an end
a sausage does have two,
Jill junior's got herself a friend
he hailed from Timbuktu.