Junkie Poem by Karen Riggs

i guess when your a junkie- your never safe of a relapse
i know better- i can identify this posion- the collapsing of the morning- the crash you cant figure out how to escape
those bleeding bags of powder that rape you of anything thats worthy inside you
you blame it on everything other than yourself
' some say im a loser- dead down to my bones
everytime i crash- i explode - nothing but my sins to pawn
why do you love me? - why do u adjust my pure lies until they become alive as a believable truth?
some hang on to me- maybe they are looking for a love thats pure
some sacrafice their everthings- all in an effort to catch up to me
some will call you a flargarent fool- only because they cant see and dont carry the love in both our bones'
is it posible that we are junkies for each other?
i think id do anything- to heal this heart of stone
if it meant finding a higher power of my choice- a journey without the liability that comes with drug abuse
im getting expendable- my 20's were so easy- i didnt sleep much- at least not alone
high wandering- distance- from reality- i never had the thought of timing a speeding train or using a gun n its barrell in my mouth to taste the metal n the bullet that will end my life of tradgedy and never again having to feel
'some said i was a loser back then
lots of girls, guys, parents, cops n teachers disliked me
but at least i was always me- i had a big heart and i spilled alot of blood easing the pain of others
i loved my friends, in the summertime, in the winter to
those memories are cherished, in every bone and piece of me forever, some of you may be gone- but inside of me there is no way that our past will ever wash away- love can never dilute
'so maybe you were right to call me a loser back then- even now
but i dont carry the wieght of the world on my shoulders- im the woman who put the writing on the wall
the loser- but tell me how do your bones feel? '
i will always be a junkie- for better or for worse
a junkie for salvation and for love