Just A Ragdoll Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

I feel just like a ragdoll
One made by a grandmother, so kind
Knitted and darnded together with care
With an embroidered face she had in mind
Blue button eyes: Open; not blind
and hair made out of yarn
lovingly crafted, with patience hard to find
Given to a girl, to hold close to her heart
But later, thrown by the wayside, and left behind

I feel this feeling today in the pit of my chest
Where feelings attempt to nest
But stir and find no rest
It's just an emotion
Though today life feels like a test
And while I mean to do my best
I'm a disinvited guest
Instead of welcome
I feel somehow I've become a pest

But the ragdoll comes to mind
Because a more loving ragdoll is hard to find
and once you lose something like that
It feels a loss so hard to reckon and unkind
Maybe someone else will pick me up
And hold me to their heart
I'm just searching for a true owner
the kind that loves from the start and doesn't part

Grandma whispered something in my ear
Yes I know she meant well when she did
She said, 'don't worry Jimmy...
every pot has a lid'
But all this time, I learned through heartache
How to keep my feelings hid

But today I'm just a ragdoll
Wishing for a home
But feeling discarded and so alone
Through button eyes I cry
But all the tears they are in vain
I lay in the gutter and watch
as they flow into muddy rivulets
and disappear into the drain

But here's the most confusing part
And 'till this day I wonder why
I wish understood it all
Without this, troubles I'd be rid
She sewed inside of me: a heart
I felt it when it broke apart