Letting Go Of Hope's Hand Poem by Lesa MRK

Where have all these scars on my body come from?
Where have all the scars on my soul?
And why don't I cry to hear the words,
That times before have made tears roll?

Is it because I am prepared,
To let go of all I have known,
To embrace a new tomorrow,
To settle into a new home?

Must I let go of all I had before,
Reject every familiar face,
Open my life to strangers,
Who cannot fill that space?

I thought my heart would shatter,
To think we'd be apart,
But I am bewildered just knowing,
I did not know my own heart.

The things I looked so forward to,
Appear to have vanished like forgotten hope.
I no longer think of it-
I no longer need it to help me cope.

It was just yesterday,
That happy thoughts filled my mind,
But before they had ever begun,
I have left them far behind.

It's frightening just thinking,
I don't know what I search for anymore,
For now I'm not waiting,
For your arrival at my door.

I'm not saying I don't love you-
You and I know that could never be true.
Of any single soul,
I'd never deny my love for you.

All I want is understanding,
For that which I cannot explain-
Have I clouded out the hurting,
So I can no longer face the pain?

Maybe someday it will hit me,
The gravity of the deed.
I'll see what I am missing-
I'll long for what I need.

But for now I am grateful,
For being spared of the tears,
For forgetting the sorrow,
Which has touched me so many years.

Words keep echoing in my mind-
Now I can finally understand.
I now know there is no guarentee,
And never to take hope's hand.

Because the thing you long for most,
One never understands.
When you finally have all you wished for,
It slips through your hands.

You try to catch on,
Yet you lose all you love.
So you only let go,
Of all you've ever dreamed of.