'' Lies, Damned Lies And Statistics '' Poem by Bri Mar

World politicians adore the stat,
It can hide their lies in any format,
They can say we are now out of recession,
Despite the fact we're still in a depression.

What is this miracle we call the stat,
I hear you all ask what exactly is that,
Politicians will tell you that yes it's a fact,
If it's based on a stat then they will act.

They are the ultimate masters of the stat,
It can hide their deceit during a chat,
They truly are masters of their craft,
They'd have us believe that we're all daft.

Homes repossessed are contained in a stat,
Their figures are lower than we know they're at,
But the truth is different we're out on the street,
The fact is their stats are full of deceit.

Inflation is always contained in a stat,
They're as clear as treacle in a darkwood vat,
The prices we're paying are not as they seem,
Believe that if you like and let out a scream.

To believe what's contained within a stat,
You'd have to be a total prat,
While all of our lives are being enjoyed,
They can tell us nobody's unemployed.

The state of the world is based on a stat,
How many are thin how many are fat,
The information supplied is supposed to relieve,
Truth is none of it you can believe.

The way that they can present a stat,
Is a fish is a bird and a dog is a cat,
They're a strange way of saying all is well,
When truth is we're all heading for hell.

Whoever invented the bloody stat,
Was surely brought up as a spoiled brat,
Nothing better to do with their tedious life,
Than to devise a way of lying about life.

Facts just don't exist within a stat,
Or they could well show our world is flat,
This would have a terrible effect,
As quite frankly it's not politically correct.

Politicians couldn't live without their stat,
They'd be like a cricketer without his bat,
Without the stat their system dies,
Like them they're all based on lies.

But none of them care for they love the stat,
Though everyone else can smell a rat,
Stats tell them what they want to hear,
Like darkened glass they're crystal clear.

The fact is you can never believe a stat,
It's meant to beguile us it can wear any hat,
You'd retrieve more facts from a team of mystics,
Than you'd get from those,

‘' Lies, Damned Lies And Statistics ‘'