I love linguistic lusciousness,
While lounging on my laptop here.
These words that flow and flush the forest floors:
Iambic tetrameters and pentameters,
Trochees and dactyls too.
Enough of that: founts of feeling
Count the most.
Imagination running wild;
Persistent perceptions that never pale.
Visions of the future,
Parodies of the past.
Just give me my laptop
And let my fingers dance.
Liked the used of alliteration, but felt that either it drowned the sense, or the sense drowned it. The 'flushing the forest floors' was a really nice image maybe worth pursuing further and fingers playfully dancing was a great end. Alterntatively, you could have stuck with the languorous, luxuriant 'l's and played with those in shorter poem? lips, lap, lead pencil. Euqlly those p alliterations suggest something quite different and more tippytappy...Nice poem indeed. Thanks for sharing!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Thanks for the comprehensive critique there Tim. I agree this one is rather rich at first, like honey can be TOO sweet. If it looks like I went with the flow, well that's because that's what I did. Indeed that's what I DO. No apologies. It's a creative process.....