Little Mutt Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Little dog went down the street
to the corner where dogs meet
said Hello to Saint Bernard
spotting him was not too hard
he was super-duper size
but had runny, bloodshot eyes.
Said Bernard I work in snow
in the avalanche. I know
where to look for folks in trouble
under snow and other rubble.
Little dog said I stay home
master says I should not roam
cannot play with real shoes
so my task is get the news.
When the birds sing in the morn
I get up and feel new-born.
Run outside through doggie-door
sliding on the concrete floor
grab the paper and head back
get the glasses from the rack
and the coffee from the pot
think I'm finished? I am not
for the misses I make toast
put a slice of possum roast
on the toast then sprinkle cheese
you can see I aim to please.
St. Bernard was quite impressed
said I get my victims dressed
after rubbing them with snow
see, I am a real pro.
Not outdone the little mutt
slowly scratches his small butt
says I have the real hunch
that you do not make their lunch.
I, for one cook meals with style
put the dishes in a pile
start the washer with a load
keep my eyes upon the road
when the master wanders in
I have ready fizz and gin
get his slippers on his feet
click the thermostat on Heat
read his friggin' mastermind
ascertain what he will find
on the satellite TV
well, I must, as you can see
duty calls, adieu my friend
I'm afraid this is the end.