Love Poem by Julia Yusupova

what kind of love is love?

the kind which aims to unite, not separate

causes you to think and act in ways
you've never pictured yourself sinking to

in the next instant, uplifts

seizes you and grips relentlessly
while you panic, attempt to battle your way out
unsuccessfully

you must accept this love as is

although romantic, not the kind
the french claim to have invented

nor the kind with candle lit dinners and soft embraces that a girl's dreams are used to

weird love

sometimes disguised as fear
which labels you insecure, fickle
self-centered, selfish, delusional
pathetic

love that must acquire all these names
in order to outstrip them

disgraceful, hostile, resentful, competitive abusive, shocking, sorrowful, heart-wrenching
melancholy, accepting, soul-strengthening adventurous, patient, peaceful, pure
sacred

you grow to not require this love materially
for it already thrives in spirit

nevertheless, don't doubt the duty
to receive this love in form
when it comes knocking on your gates

this love makes you curse the heavens
which have honored you
with this exalted blessing

it punishes you for submissiveness
and then rewards you for submission

the love that bounces
between freedom and dependency
for it requires both

love that raises abilities but destroys the cozy niche of possessions
you've dug for yourself

not the love that comforts you with a house
cars, and a joint bank account
but the kind that sparks awareness

not the love that is satisfied with compatibility comfort and pretense
but rejoices at their destruction

love that is constantly developing and expanding
but to what?

love that terrifies you with its demand for unyielding trust in the future

the kind that asks and tests
and needs and drains
but grants you joy as you continue giving

the kind that made one mystic say 'you crucified me, but i still love you'

one fine day, this love may finally satisfy your pride and expectations
but by then you will no longer have them

the love that ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows
and finally engulfs

the love that remains
when every other option has been exhausted

the kind that mocks you as you realize
there may never be anything else
but its exquisite self

you cannot win this love you can only surrender

already everything and nothing else

philia, éros, agápe

eternal, total, final

unconditional

true love