Mandrills Displaying Their Behinds Poem by gershon hepner

Oh, how I wish that I had a behind
like a mandrill’s sexual display,
instead of intellect wrapped in a mind
of a minstrel who’s out for a lay.

With a gorgeous bottom that’s like that
I would not have to waste my time by writing,
but my posterior, is flabby, fat and flat
leaves me no choice, or I’d look unexciting.


Richard Conniff, author of 'Every Creeping Thing: True Tales of Faintly Repulsive Wildlife, ' reviews 'Gerald Durrell: The Authorized Biography, ' by Douglas Botting (Carroll & Graf) in 'Animal House' (NYT Book Review, December 12,1999) . Durrell once took Princess Anne to the Jersey Zoo and showed her a male mandrill in full sexual display, its bottom like 'a newly painted and violently patriotic lavatory seat, ' blue on the outside and 'virulent sunset scarlet' within. 'Wouldn't you like a behind like that? ' he asked Princess Anne, and she became a patron of the zoo.

12/17/99,1/31/10