Treasure Island

James Darwin Smith II

(10/6/74 / San Diego, CA)

Mannequin Handled


Gawk at me, I am now but a Mannequin

Is this all you see?
Just the outside part of me?

There was a day
When I use to be flesh and bones
Had a mind of my own
And a heart made of gold

But low and behold I was seen differently
Tried to get my inner deep feelings out
But no one ever noticed
It was all about the outer shell you see

All the hurt came through
Cried myself to sleep
No one wanted to hear my voice
They were too busy seeing what they loved to see

I started to tire. Gave in
Shown myself to the world
Just eye candy for them to see
My heart was empty

Knew only how to be a show piece
For on looking eyes to lustfully gaze upon
This heart, mind and soul felt so ugly
But I had to adapt to this very life

Threw in some vanity
So I could hide these insecurities well
Was called very bad things, Very painful
But the numbness took care of that

Now I am but a statue
Lost every feeling I have ever had in life
Needed to secure this very existence
So I became a perverted rich old man's wife

And now I have a Father figure
But an abused stepchild I am
But I have to deal with this
Because my future has to be with him

Now I am older
He threw me out
Only to bring a new model in
Because that is how it goes

Now I am but a decrepit Mannequin
Standing cold with shame
Cracks in my fiberglass existence
Dead within all of my inner being

But that is what happens when one trades their body for fame
Attention, I wish I never wanted it as bad as I did
Now the world knows how much I live in shame

Into the dumpster of the forgotten I go
This was never worth my wild
Hopefully Women can learn to never go down this way
Beauty is not just an outside thing

See me from the inside
That is all I ever want to be seen from again
Is anyone there?

Submitted: Monday, June 18, 2012
Edited: Monday, June 18, 2012

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Through the perspective of a Woman upon this subject

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