Treasure Island

Margaret Kollmer

(South Africa)

Mary Had a Little Lamb - Silly Verse!

Mary had a little lamb
She chopped it into pieces
Then changed the famous Mary rhyme:
‘I don’t know where yer fleece is.’

Mary had a little lamb
It really was a rascal
But slyly did she feed him up
To be the lambkin Pascal.

Mary had a little lamb
Without a decent moniker
Who cared? For it was only born
for some Billy goat to boniker.

Mary had a little lamb
Well mannered and well-schooled
But all the people wanted was
A lamb un-kilojouled.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had some geese
To France she sent their woolly-stuff
To weave the fleur-de-fleece.

Mary had a little lamb
She dressed it in a dirndl
Threw nutshells in her gathered skirt
And only ate the kirndl.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a pig
She ate the pig and sheared the lamb
Now the fathead wears a wig!

Mary had a little lamb
She called it Juliet
She tried to make it diet
But Julie et and et and et.

Mary had a little lamb
She used it as a scanner
With doccies passed in through its mouth
And pulled out with a spanner.

Mary had a little lamb
...strayed from its grassy sector
Alas poor thing it landed up
In the mouth of one called Lechter.

Now here's a very, very clever Mary tale, author unknown:

Mary had a little plane
And through the air she'd frisk
Wasn't she a silly girl
Her little *

ass to risk! ....that's what I said: -)

Mary had a little lamb
It strayed into her garden
Then when it made a little poop
It baa'd 'I beg your pardon, '

Mary had a little lamb
Barbequed a lamb
To fill her tummy's yearning
The meat got charred, and it cried out:
'This lady IS for turning! '

Mary bought a little lamb
Far away in Guernsey
But Customs wouldn't let him through
Until he was a Jersey.

Mary had a little lamb
It worked fo ra mortician
Then found the job too boring
So became a politician.

Mary had a little lamb
And a little singing mouse
What fun they had together
Serenading Johan Strauss.

Submitted: Monday, March 31, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, August 18, 2009

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