Maternal Instinct Poem by Julie Bethany

They told me that motherhood was a gift
That I would feel better about things once you were born
Once I was able to see you with my own eyes
But when you came into this world, I cried
Almost as much as you did
Your face,
Twisted up into a terrible little scowl
It was hideous
How could something so young
Look a million years old?
You were a wrinkless old man
Aged by years you haven't yet experienced
They called you a tiny angel
I couldn't look at your face

They told me to wait
To give it some time to sink in
They promised that a day would come when I would look at you and smile,
Not cry and curse and ask myself how I could've made such a
Terrible mistake

And it took some time,
But I can finally see how beautiful you are
I can finally look at you and smile
All you had to do was stop crying
Now that you're asleep
And still
And quiet
I love you when you're not wailing and screaming
As loud as you can
As if you're old enough to realize how unfair life is
No, just silence
As you lie there in your crib, I finally understand
They said you were a gift from God
I gave you back