Mentally&emotionally Torn Poem by Abby Keen Harris

I love you like I say
I mean it when I say I'll marry you
Yet recent events have made me begin to doubt
That you feel the same way in reality
My feelings for you are more then a game
Are yours?
My love for you isn't just a role play
Is that all am I to you?
I've been hurt and played enough to know when it happens
But I want to believe its not true
I want to believe that me and him are your only ones
Having to work is one thing but this isn't just work
Now I know why I gave up and grew distant
It hurts too much to open up and stay close
Maybe I was wrong for agreeing to this
Maybe I should've just said no or waited longer
I hope making me feel like a fool was worth it
I didn't want to date again at first
I was scared of being hurt again
I gave up those fears with you
Now look what I got in return?
What I was afraid of, this is why I don't hold on to hope
When I hope for something, It ends up leaving me or not happening
Like a Papa Roach song
'I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much.'
I should've just kept my heart closed
Then I wouldn't be here
Mentally and Emotionally Torn