Musical Narcotics Poem by Mihaela Pirjol

I used to etherise myself
every single day—by the clock,
with an obsessive circle
of euphoric musical narcotics:
living and re-living;
wine and rewind,
wine and rewind,
wine and rewind—
hundreds of times a song,
memories, and the wild emotions
of my heart in love!

I had become addicted to Music:
the more I was listening,
the more—the more I needed it
—to reach its effect! —
increasing the dose of volume, —
I felt my brain
smashed against the sound,
making me dizzy and delirious;
and when my heart could not contain
the gelatinous feelings and knees,
it petrified the emotions into a hard rock:
hardly feeling anything—it hated itself!
—my heart—a monolith with no lithium!

I could not yet use the spiritual scissors
to cut the guitar-chords
and the etheric chord,
and the communication
kept flowing freely—at the speed of light
sending musical narcotics
through its channel;
like a vein circulating blood,
supplying an embryonic love
unwilling to renounce life;
but it finally kept circulating
dedications for a torturous, slow death,
as the slow, murderous
march of madness—
dedications of death!

Until the sound of music
became interior voices—
screaming at me!
The guitar, —
squeaking, and scratching my nerves!
Singing in my mind loud words:
words, words, words—
vocables, vocables, vocables;
dancing till collapsing—collapsing in tears.
In a profound perturbation,
I closed my eyes,
and with the phosphenes in my mind,
I fell quietly—into a forgetful sleep.