Treasure Island

Ankit Neil Sharma

My Aim

though, a big foot of destiny,
beside the mighty luck of mine,
i still wonder, always
we still live in slums,
and, carry our dirt outside
to make people ill,
by the clumsy talks of the mind,
and reviving the pure soul among them.
my aim is not to be the one them.

Submitted: Monday, July 08, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, July 09, 2013

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  • Bri Edwards (7/9/2013 5:03:00 PM)

    i think i understand part of this, but it is not nearly as clear to me (in english) as Hardwork was for me.
    in the line: ....
    though, a big foot of destiny, you MEAN though or through?
    AND in the line: aim is not to be the one them.....might i suggest, instead, my aim is not to be one of them?

    and looking at bibhakar's comment below: i think she/he? means expand, not expend; they have different meanings, though though perhaps similar. thanks for sharing. one more poem to look at.....since they are short, which is sometimes good. (Report) Reply

  • David Wood (7/8/2013 1:12:00 PM)

    A fine first poem, well done. You use good imagery and it has a fine flow to it. Keep it up (Report) Reply

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