My Darkened Room Poem by James Case

I feel so tired, so undesired
The darkness came too soon
I bow my head and slowly walk
Into my darkened room.

I close the door to everything
that lies beyond these walls
Faintly I hear life go by
From the echoes in the hall.

Within the dark I draw a breath
It comes easier in this room
I want a place of solitude
Sleep can not come too soon.

But within the closet lurking
and underneath my bed
Lies the demons of my life
Creeping slowly into my head.

I close my eyes to see the pictures
that hang crooked on the wall
Images of loss and life mistakes
From the times that I did fall.

I reach for a glass of alcohol
sitting ready on my nightstand
I toss it back and say a prayer
A loaded pistol in my hand.

The air becomes hot and heavy
The sweat begins to pour
My hand reaches for the doorknob
Only realizing there is no door.

No exit from this darkened room
No window to open wide
No hope of escape from this life
Nobody on my side.

The quiet grows and no one knows
The pain felt in this room
No screams are heard to cause alarm
No rescue from my doom.

The walls close in around me
I can feel it in my heart
If only someone would take my hand
And lead me from this dark.

Why won't someone open the door
Into my darkened room
I find it sad to realize
That I was forgotten all too soon.


***Written to bring awareness to veteran suicide, PTSD and depression.