Juliana Willsey (september 4,1992 / New York State)

This depression causes me fear
causes the fear in life to come out
the fear or confusion and the fear of loss
I try hard not to think of fear and this depression
but somehow the depression lets the fear back into
my body and lets the fear take over the sadness
I would rather feel sadness, pain and anger than fear
the fear that I feel makes me feel weak and worthless
I try to love but the fear steps into place once again
I am afraid to love cause I fear hurt
it's gray all the time in my head
while I try to make it look like it is all sunshine and rainbows
on my face with the smile i put on for everyone
while on the inside I wanna cry!
cause the depression lets my past come back
the flashbacks of the unwanted
unwanted that I just want to go away
I try to work through the problems but I still cant get it all out
I wonder if I talk about every incident step by step detail by detail
and bassically relive it, if that will take it away!
but here is that fear again from the depression
the fear of talking and reliving the past! !
my depression causes me fear!



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