My Life Poem by Mundell Lomax

How do I tell the family that gave me life
That I don't want it anymore
The feeling that my life isn't mine
How do I ask the women who gave me life
What is the meaning of it
I feel cold sometimes wondering if I have a soul

I know that people love me
But I can't help but feel empty on the inside
Thus my reason for not confining
in you
My family
My meaning for life
But the knife in my heart is cutting deep
The feeling of nothing
Yes I'm that close to the edge
Although you think in bluffing
The idea of jumping is tempting

The pressure on me is more than I can handle
I may not look it but my mind is very fragile
Two years with no social interaction
I don't move fast to take action
I don't care about your reaction
I've noticed that people have become a distraction
I learned three things in those years
One people will take your hurt and use it against you
Two that the mental pain will never go way
Three don't trust no one out of family who says they love you

How do I smile
Why should I smile
It feels like I'm always in exile
But not by anybody
Only myself
I got used to being alone
So much that being around others makes me put in my headphones
I want to just be in my zone
With no self control
And no one around but god to judge my soul