My Little Brother Poem by Alicia Meyers

I forgot what it was like
To sit there and cry
To live your life
To know why.

To know how it feels
As the sun beats onto my skin.
Feeling what is real

And not inside my within.

I cried for you
When you stood by their sides
When that bullet shot right through
My tears raced down my cheeks when you died.

It feels as if you never wanted to listen to me!
It feels as if you never even cared!
I was there, James, when it killed my insides - don't you see!
And when those home boys left, I was scared.

I came over to your side
Saw the tears running down your face
I heard you for the last time
That you had to go, that you couldn't stay.

I felt as if I took my last breath
Leaning down upon a beautiful Angel
When I was the only one who saw his death
You, James, are fragile -

And I can't leave you alone
You have to come back to Earth
To come back home
I love you, from the day I saw your birth.

I looked at my little brother
Grasped his head underneath my hands
It was then I saw another
Angel whom came out from your body to make me understand.

You became this... demon
So that you can protect everyone around you
From the boys who don't leave, who have nothing to believe in -
But I'd take that night back any day, James, I would take that bullet straight through... me.

When you were out protecting every border around the block
They came up to you when I ran to you
And then I heard that bullet shot
As they left you there on the floor, as I came towards you - I saw that you had no fear, but from the corner of my eye; the Angel's grew.

They surrounded us both, trying to take you away from me
My little brother, James - leaving my side
Because you say it is time to leave
Whether or not you've died.

But you will always be my litte brother
Even if you're up in Heaven
You did things right, James - and we will always be together
And those home boys will never get even -

Because they are cowards to not say
All they do is just shoot
Just shoot away
And they won't get the boot.

How could they kill some innocent boy down the street?
How could they not just let it go?
Maybe it was fate, for Angel's to meet
Someone who already knows?

But I promise you, James -
I will act as your big sister
And even if I cry my way through the journey the road takes me, James - you are an honor to our last name
My hero, my savor, my little brother.

And now when I walk down the street
Everyone gawks
gawks at me
And knows who I am, because my little brother rocks.

I forgot what it was like
To sit there and cry
To live your life
To know why.

To know how it feels
As the sun beats onto my skin.
Feeling what is real
And not inside my within.