My Nature Poem by Wendy Thomas

I'd like to say that it no longer phases me
That I'm use to being thrown aside.
Like trash out of a moving car

I'd like to say it no longer phases me;
That I expect a crash after a good time.
Like the crash after a high brought on by a drug.

I would love to say that it no longer phases me.
But why do I feel like a stable house that has been torn apart
and scattered after a hurricane?

Why does my crash feel like a horrible disaster?
A disaster before and after a long storm.

Why is it that when problems build up, it feels like a flood?
A flood about to break the walls of an already weak dam.

I'm drowning in sorrow but instead of surviving
my instincts tell me to give up and die.

No, this isn't right.
I definitely lied.
I don't wish I could say it doesn't phase me;
I feel destruction and the need to coward
and hide at the same time.

This is my nature and it does phase me.