No Matter How Outsiders May Look At It Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I've done the best I could.
But no matter how outsiders may look at it,
To say what I did or did not do for anyone else.
There are some things I am still unable to do!
With an awakening done to realize,
What it is I 'can' prioritize.

I can not transfer over to another,
My motivation.
I can not transfer over to another,
My devotion and discipline.
I can not transfer over to another,
Reason and purpose with a drive to accomplish.
I can not transfer over to another,
An ability to wait patiently while sacrificing time.
I can not transfer over to another,
The pain that is felt when someone else...
Has time to criticize AND character assassinate,
My efforts and abilities I had volunteered in the past...
With a deception that is effortless.
And for them convenient to ensure its effectiveness.
To be able to survive,
Dancing through that kind of ammunition...
Is a miracle of God's I can not re-create.

And...
Do I seek to abandon my peace of mind,
I was blessed to find while recovering from exhaustion...
And diseases that came to feed on me as if I was a treat?
I'll give you a hint.
Get out of my face!
Go solicit your act of 'Together We Are Stronger If We Unify'...
Somewhere else.
I am 'still' a work -in-progress trying to associate forgiveness,
With a forgetting I can not seem to be able to eliminate.

But...
One never knows what the future holds!
Does one?