Nothing To Hide Poem by mona martinez

i'm a girl with a dark side,
but when we talk,
you see the good,
and not just the bad,
some of what i fail to see,
in myself at times,
but at times you remind me who i am,
i never have to be anybody,
but myself when i talk to you,
it feels great to finally,
open up and talk about,
everything i've been hiding,
but at the same time,
i'm scared to death,
i'm use to ppl seeing one side of me,
not who i truely am as a person,
in the past some ppl showed,
they only accept the happy side of me,
and the sad part they want nothing to do with,
it's hard to reverse a pattern,
i used just to cope with the world around me,
i get so caught up will being who ppl want,
that i loose myself along the way,
and become unhappy with who i let myself become,
i'm still pleasing other ppl,
without even realizing it,
but in the end of everything,
i'm not the one that truely happy,

i hate when you can see right through me,
and know when there is something wrong,
it something i thought i was good at doing,
hiding how i feel and just pretend,
when i talk to you,
there is no pretending,
what you see, is exactly what you get,
at times it easy to let my walls down,
and just feel safe talking to you,
and sometimes it not,
i hate being honested,
i know what i'm feeling and what i say,
are not exactly what you want to here,
but it's a start,
sometimes i feel like it will be safer,
just to do my own thing in the moment,
than to tell you how i feel,
but i know it will only hurt you more,
if i lied, rather than just tell the truth,
i don't like to hurt you in any way,
but i do want to be a better person,
you been right about everything,
i was just to blind to see,
what i was doing to myself,
and all the lies i let myself believe,

i will never be as perfect as i would want to be,
but at the same time,
i think i'm ok with that,
at times i let the pain get the best of me,
but i seem to still find my way through,
i'm a fighter that contiues to fight through life,
even long after i don't want to fight,
you give me the strength to take it one day at a time,
and not to be so hard on myself,
you one of the best things,
that ever happened to me in chat,
i don't want to give that up,
it the reason why i watch what i do,
my actions have hurt many ppl in the past,
it something i'm trying to change,
you open my eyes in seeing,
that there is more to me,
than just my body,
i have more to give than what i've been giving,
don't get scared when i need my space,
you still the person on my mind,
when i'm having a bad day,
the person i want to talk to,
you know how to make me feel better,
that will never change,
at times you are way to hard on yourself,
i like you more than i let on,
at times it hard to express it in the moment,
anything that is not sexual,
is going to take a little while to learn,
just be patient, i'm getting there on my own terms,
just continue being you,
sweet, respectful, and honested,
it what i need in my life right now,
a sweet guy to remind me day after day,
that there is still nice guys out there.