douglas scotney

(boomer / Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia. Resides in Adelaide)

Olympics 2012

Flu Theory of Failure
In the Olympics year of twenty twelve
Flu took gold in Australia.
With gold on the chest of the flu,
Silver was the best we could do-
Thus Silver's Gold, not A Failure.

Boo Hoo Hoo
Peculiar to
The sulphur-crested cockatoo.
Other white Australians,
The lot of them are aliens,
Silver is their hue,
Will be Sally's too.
With gold on the chest of the flu,
Silver's the best she can do-
Her silver is gold, not a failure.

I learnt in the Laser Class race
What function at the coal face
You could possibly qualify for
By sailing an ironing board.
Say Tom Hanks had been able to do it:
he'd have been off the isle in a minute,
His wife wouldn't have gotten so bored,
And we'd've been spared an hour or four.

Submitted: Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Edited: Tuesday, August 07, 2012
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Poet's Notes about The Poem

2012's winter was indeed a bad one for flu in Australia.

My prediction is silver for Sally Pearson in the 100 hurdles.

Tom Slingsby sailed his board to victory in the Laser Class.

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