On A Daily Basis Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I am often humbled,
By those expressions made
Regarding my thoughts...
With any impressions,
They have laid to stay in minds.
I find I am fascinated.

Whether appreciated or not,
I have to stop sometimes to wonder.

This I've been doing for such a while now.
And I try to maintain a comprehension about life,
With curiosity.
And that isn't easy to express at times.
Especially when my feelings,
Are not heightened by a respect I should let show.
Finding a pinch given gets more attention,
Than a peck on the cheek with cheesiness.
And I ain't that kind of a writer.

And I've been attacked for being black.
Not because I express that!
But...
Because my comments offend,
Those pretending I should not notice bigotry displayed.
Or that I have not been in contact with racism.

I am aware of Disneyland but I've never been.
I can only elaborate on my own personal encounters.
Especially regarding my own life.
With obstacles, strife and tribulations.

Like others who write and many who do not,
There are things I dislike.

There are aches and pains and sufferings I've gained,
From this experience.
But...
Do I choose to dwell on them?
Sure I do.
When it feels good to do it!
But what purpose is being achieved?
A bonding with agony?
Please.

I was in the military,
With guys who bragged about their wounds.
And displayed scars like badges.
On the regular.

So many people carry and share their frustrations.
As if life is an experience only known to a few who live it!
And I've learned life is to be enjoyed!
With as much happiness one allows.
And I say allow!
Since so many choose not to do that!
Many have chosen to be victims.
Listen to them.
This is not denied.

When I discovered peace of mind...
I did not realize I had to pay for it!
Yes!
It ain't free.
And I did with tears, heartache...
And emotional investments!
With lost dignity too.
I held onto my identity.
I knew early it was precious.

One day my faith awakened me with sunlight so bright!
And nature awaiting my acceptance to share it.
I felt at one with the Earth.

I felt I had to thank it
For allowing me to leech upon its goodness.
And not to my surprise the Earth complied.
I expressed a gratefulness to God,
For all the gifts I received that came unwrapped.
I felt a release from entrapments.

And I rid myself of limitations.
Knowing if I was to be ignorant about anything...
Affecting my experience.
There was a lot of misunderstanding I refused to admit.
I had to let that go.
It showed on my face too much.

Today I choose to be naive.
About many things.
With a clarity that there is so much I'd like to learn.
On a daily basis.

I choose to have my life to live it.
Carrying around bitterness is such a waste of time.
Especially when time, as we know it...
IS for the most part,
A human illusion!
Made to market and appease frustrations.
And shopping can frustrate more than constipation.