Once Sticks And Stones Poem by Randy McClave
Once Sticks And Stones
Once we had just sticks and stones
Now we have guided missiles and drones,
At one time we could only hurt each other
Now we can kill a strangers father and/ or mother,
If for some reason a foreign country hates me
They can now destroy me and my country,
At one time before we relied only on our own fist
But, now madmen with missiles and drones exist.
Randy L. McClave
Randy, the poem is clear, so that's good, but your grasp of formal aspects like meter (7th line loses the beat) is weak. Maybe read some good contemporary poetry by poets like Anthony hecht or Richard Wilbur. It takes more than rhyme to make a good poem. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
Mmm, about the 7th line, besides studying and cultivating my writing and thoughts and ideas here in the states Japan (including Haiku from Basho) . I also studied writing in Edinburgh and at the University of Glasgow, where I studied the writings of Fergusson, Burns, Scott, and the philosophy of Hume. Those thoughts led to the 7th line where the concept of the fist was achieved. Thank you for reading my poem and thank you for your comment. Randy
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/27/2024 7:58:34 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Beautiful poem Randy Thank you for sharing Mario Odekerken
Thank you for your comment, and for reading my poem. Randy