Pendulum (Co-Written By Kilsi Borgbara) Poem by Charles Nnamuka

The more I fight who I am,
The more I become who I don't want to be
..me, him, there's no difference.

Maybe its true,
Maybe the road a man takes to ensure his becoming
Is usually the road to his unbecoming.
Maybe it's woven in the very thread of my existence.
I feel it in the narrow crevices within my bones.

I am helplessly meant to be me.
I have to do exactly according to what is already done
But guarded by time, and unleashed gradually, second by second.
I have to do only what is permissible by time.
...sometimes it is called destiny
And other times; fate.

Lest, to time, I become a prey
I can only tell you about me today
Cause tomorrow, I'll be gone
And tomorrow, he will take on.

Much of the time, I can't stop my thoughts.
Whoever tomorrow shall make of me
I've always wondered...
The height he'll attain
Or his nothingness retain.
the hearts he'll touch
Or the ones he'll crush.
The lips he'll kiss
And the sort he'll dismiss.

I keep seeing how sadness strips happiness off her colored cloak
How deceit robs sincerity off her gracious smoke.
I yearn to be what I am not -well, everyone became what they weren't afterall.

To whatever pace, tomorrow's music plays
I can only wish he'll make the best moves.
I am convinced life is not as juicy as a watermelon without seed
Neither is it as rosy as the Kardashians make it seem.
The greenness of the grass on the other side of the fence
Can no longer be trusted.

Yesterday was promising,
But today tells me hope lied
And tomorrow looks completely bleak.
Whoever is taking on from me...I wish him luck.

Destiny would be the death of me.
All efforts barely counting.
‎Just to seem less harsh of me
I have given a pat on my own back,
And when the aura becomes cheery,
He will not forget I started the journey.
A monster and its scare makes the horror.

Let me be sincere like I usually am.
I don't want to be weak
I don't want to be used
I don't want the kingdom
If he has to be my heir
I simply want to be me today.