Percy The Pigeon Poem by Joe Hughes

I'm Percy the patient pigeon,
Sitting on this Freeview mast.
Observing all the lives below me,
Some slow - some very fast.

Percy Thrower's in his garden
Sowing all his seeds so fine,
But I'll be down to feast upon them
When he's done at half past nine.

The 60's model Twiggy
Has put her fine clothes out to dry.
On them I'll do a number two -
It's bound to make her cry.

Mary Berry's having tea.
Eating cakes so fine, so posh,
But where there's cake there's also crumbs
Which are my favourite nosh.

The well-to-do complain so loudly
With their lah-di-dahs, their tuts.
I wish that they would all shut up
Then put me out some nuts.

My relatives were in the wars.
I sometimes see their ghosts
But Emails, Skype with texting
has replaced the pigeon post.

They say that I am greedy.
That all I do is eat, grow fat.
I've even heard them being nasty
Calling me a flying rat!

It's clear to me as I sit here
Among the upper social set
That there should be much more to life
Than wind, cold snow and wet.

I'm Percy the common pigeon.
Living on this Freeview mast.
So I've got to find a dovecote
To move up a social class!