Pointing At Me Poem by Karla Bell

What is behind the words that are said?
Are they good or bad are they black or red
I can’t hear what you’re saying
I can’t read your words
Are you mixing emotions?
Are you being absurd?
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know who to be
I don’t know who I am any more
All I know is I wish I wasn’t me
I have food on the table
And I’m asked to take a bite,
But will it be a bitter lemon
Or an apple over ripe.
I hear the anger and I hear the pain
Is it from you or inside my brain
I’m finding forgiving myself
Beyond my control,
For the person I once was
I was no use at all.
I’m stuck in a place where I want to break free
From the feeling of hatred all pointing at me…

Karla bell 28th January 2009