Prodigal Daughter Poem by Kitty Marie Lucas

I am
Conversing with you,
For what seems like the thousandth time,
About the effect of the prodigal daughter
We've all hidden in these lies

And I could say you loved her most
But to mention it I wouldn't be this kind
You're condemning me
When I'm telling you
How much I'd mind

If you'd force me again
To surrender to that
Which I will always most despise

Your accusations that I'd believe
Anything that's said to me
Are closely followed by apathy
As you sell me
Your insults
Line by line

She doesn't know rape or violence
Or what it is to never be enough
All she knows is everything you gave her
She never worked for anything
She never had to earn your love

But "shameful"
You call me,
To get angry
To feel something besides pity
When her life has been so hard
That to steal from me is justified

I'd never hurt you with the truth
But "selfish" is
The card I play
That's what you tell me anyway
When I have no reply

See, as you defend I depend
On the silence
Carrying me
As I know the
Every need
Of the primogenitor
Is burying me alive

And if I stay
And I wait
For you to hear me
Maybe you can tell me
A little more
How it's all my fault
And I can wait around to die
So when I'm gone
You can still say
That I died blind

See, I'll always be angry
Sick
Selfish
I'll always be the cause of everything that went wrong
Because that's easier
Than coming to find
That all along
You're the one that's been blind

As you're talking at me
I will never be good enough for you,
You will never hear what I'm saying,
It will always hurt me,
I realize

The primogenitor
Can have your love all to herself
Because I don't want it
This time