Reasons To Die, Searching For One, Not To Poem by A Waltz For Zizi

Reasons to die for:
...failing those that loved me, failing god, failing myself and you...
give me one, not to.

I'd implore you, if I'd have the courage,
to speak my mind, but I don't.
Is it wrong to hide my problems in gold?
Is it a sin to give up sinning?
Because it scares me to death
to open my eyes again, after that much time spent, having them shut.

To open my chest with bare hands
and let death roam free
is this something you'd like to see me do?
Is it foolish to die, the same way
as those that kill themselves?
Is it bad to dream of death's first kiss?
Is it?

I'm not even brave enough to jump from this roof,
though I thought about doing it, every day and night,
so I guess I'll be going down again, it's freezing cold.
I wonder, what is the right answer
to life?
What is the reason you live?
Because, I really am clueless, of what I want
and I want my choice to be right
regardless of living or dying.
So, what do you think,
should I try again tomorrow, to jump?