Reluctant Mask Poem by Carol Fleming Klein

I'm sorry
if I've shut you out.
I haven't meant to.

Sometimes the darkness
of my fears
overwhelms me
and in their
cold clutches
I am insecure.

I am afraid
that if I let you see
my tears
that when I need
your arms
around me
instead I will
feel the cold wind
as you walk away.
It has happened
to me
before.

And when
I can't touch who you are
can't feel your soul
in the space around me,
it is hard to trust.

When I don't know
who you are
sense what you feel
know with a
surety
that I am safe
my mask
is a reluctant
companion.

Forgive me
if I hurt you
in my
struggle.

For my struggle
is to be real.

And
to be close
to you
if it is safe.

Sunday, May 13,1990