Mark R Slaughter


Salad is Incompatible with Life


Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.

Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good

For my poor hardened arteries,
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please,
A Salad makes me spew!

I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!

But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!





Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009










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Submitted: Friday, October 23, 2009
Edited: Monday, April 16, 2012

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  • Rookie - 257 Points Patti Masterman (10/23/2009 1:15:00 PM)

    No; I could very easily have written a poem similar to this..(smile) . It sure was enjoyable. I think I too could begin to enjoy the taste of raw denim; if faced with a large overbearing bowl of salad..how can they not sense the threat that's coming off that bowl of weeds? lol (Report) Reply

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