Neo Patricia Monamodi (21 June 1984 / Botswana)
SCARED TO LOVE YOU
Wanting to trust him with her heart
but she is scared if her heart is safe in his care;
Wondering if he will not crush and abuse it
She is scared he will leave and pretend she’s not there
Terrified his prideful heart will run and never hear.
Thousands of years of trusting non
taking chances with her heart is terrifying
letting him see her for who she is
no rhythm, nor rhyme, nor that strong heart
Yet she would have love to love him.
Getting away sometimes appear easier to do
keeping her inner self detached;
she keeps up with the daily things life demands
scared to let him know how she really feels
Petrified of his perception of love.
She has no fear of his love thus she fears hurt
She flees from possibility of him leaving which will be pain
she detests immorality but he thinks she is mean
in her fear of God she adores him in her way but he sees it not
Sometimes loves is foolish sometimes it is just a game.
Perhaps inside her heart love is just a dream
maybe she can not reach that unfeasible sentiment;
and she reckons with passing of years that life happens
People view love differently, and so truest of feelings go to waste
though she loves, she learns painfully to accept things as they are.
Yes the way they are when people worry less about words
thus these, “i love you” words are to her not the problem
for she only says them when she truly means them
Her words might mean love but what about his words..
How differently does he view this affection himself?
Questions go on and on and on and on...
Yet some she may not get answered for people view love differently
Loving him she would if he let her, yet she’s scared if he would do the same
So she goes on with her foolish fear of God and mean character
Hoping in her heart that he will somehow know
Wishing his too is love and he will try soften up his stubborn heart
She is not scared to love him and for him to love her
She’s not scared of the possibility of him jumping on her
She is scared of the way people leave all the time
She’s scared of how people view love differently
She is scared, petrified, terrified of again mending a broken heart
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