She Looked For All Pills Poem by Gert Strydom

She looked for all pills
that she could get hold of,
in a hurry
arranged them
on the cabinet next to the bed.

Perplexed from crying
counted the pills
and half ironically
tried to arrange them in a kind of order
while she tried
to lay her life down.

She almost choked
from the first mouth full
and chewed the pills like Smarties
and it tasted almost vomit arousing.

There were Syndol, Tegratol, Prozak,
Sleep Eeze and who knows what
that she took hands full of
and drank down with brandy
to try and forget
the jamming pain
and how pathetic
she had become in her own eyes.

For long moments she stared
and looked at her own life,
at dreams that were smashed
to pieces
and like a record
that jams
she played messages on her cellular phone
over and over again,

but suddenly she became unstoppable nauseas
and vomited right over the bed
until she was empty
tasting gall
and cried out
and the stench
rose in her nose
and she took all the sheets
to the washing machine.