Smoke And Tea Poem by Eila Mahima Jaipaul

wandering through this empty shell left by you. I wonder what I did wrong.
passing through my days marking time thinking about you.
my mood is solvent, ever changing.
I am living on smoke and tea.

sitting with myself playing memories like movies my judgment clouds itself.
returning to normal has been harder this time as I think of your warm arms.
the things I wanted to say, but didn't.
I am living on smoke and tea.

working alone in my stark corner
echoes of you are still with me.
I still smell you. I still taste you.
I am living on smoke and tea.

waiting is crushing to me, you've known that from the very start.
patience is not what I do well.
but it carries me because its all I have.
I am living on smoke and tea.

sleep comes like a drug.
it lifts me up and brings me to the morning.
wisps of light carry through my window.
and my thoughts turn straight to you.
wondering, i speed up time only to be stopped dead in my tracks.
I am living on smoke and tea.

patience wears me thin.
waiting brings nothing.
tears are no more.
breathing is hard but true.
life passes in a haze.
and I am still living on smoke and tea.