Still Waiting Poem by Mihir Modi

Such a sensitive soul must be loved by someone he loves too dearly.You expressed your feeling for her with true emotion.I feel this.Nice.10

How funny it is to love someone? Echoes my heart and eyes are filled, i would put a comma between heart and and. i found the? to be interesting and eye-catching and thought-provoking. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - eyes are filled...with tears? with longing? i guess you have left it up to the reader to decide for her/himself. that's ok. feelings for her are in galore. ....an unusual way of expressing 'feelings for her are in excess', BUT you have poetic license, it makes a good rhyme, and i understand what you mean. perhaps it would work AND be more grammatically correct if you typed feelings for her there are, galore? in a prose work i would write there are feelings galore for her. i have very rarely use galore myself. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - how about a poet's note, Mihir? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Like a fool, I write poems for her, having feelings deep, These days even my cell phone hardly beeps. i would call deep/beeps a good rhyme but not a perfect rhyme. perfect rhymes are not always needed and sometimes lines are more meaningful with no rhyming, especially if the rhyming would not be right. you could write the lines a bit differently and have what i call a perfect rhyme: Like a fool, I write poems for her, having feelings deep, These days even my cell phone does hardly beep. .....OR....hardly does beep. you mean it hardly beeps because she no longer calls you? : ( don't give up on girls/women! i'm on my fourth wife! [i don't think you are a fool to write the poems if it hurts neither one of you and maybe even helps you.] - - - - - - through those wet sand ...........i would write over those wet sands or across those wet sands. through.... sands sounds like one is moving through the sand, like through falling snowflakes or raindrops. that could be very uncomfortable! notice i added s to sand. if i left sand i would perhaps write over the wet sand. - - - - - to propose you....................to propose to you ...that ached my heart... ..........i would not write this in prose; perhaps in poetry. i think the verb ache is a kind of verb not used in this way. there are 'transitive' and 'intransitive' verbs and i forget which is which. look it up if you wish. :) if it were prose i would more likely write ...that wounded my heart... - - - - - - never has it cured..... i don't know if this should be as you wrote it or never has been cured. the beautiful present ...... a memory, a poem, a wristwatch, a baby? ? ? ? ? you make the reader wonder. - - - - - - - - - - - - - really wish the one you have chosen always loves you. ....this line is the hardest for me to understand. i would use had, not have. it is the always loves you part which really baffles me. maybe it is the way you use english here; i'm not sure. don't worry my love, am still here for you. ....I am or I'm ==================== i'm not a great fan of love poems. but, all in all, i liked this one quite a bit. nice rhyming! the english was much better than i expected after reading some messages from the author. better than MANY native-english-speakers i would say. yay! over all, i found the punctuation to be accurate and very useful. i have trouble sometimes when poets skip using punctuation or use too few or too many commas, or other confusing methods of using or not using those little markings. thanks for sharing. i assume you are NOT an english-as-a-first-language poet, and i'll send this to MyPoemList, even though it IS a love poem! bri :)