Stream Of Thought Poem by Claudia Krizay

Today is an
Idle sort of day
Autumn-like-
Almost
The foliage upon the trees outside is
Somewhat bashful yet, although
It was the summer that
I have always adored
It was a day like this day, that
I was taken away.
I am starting to remember now, that
During my favorite time of year- as
I am locked inside this tiny L-shaped room-
White walled and barren as I feel inside
Impassively staring out the window.
My thoughts are elsewhere-
Thinking back forty years, upon
The day I lost myself.
Screaming in terror and bewilderment on
The very day the world first fell out from under me-
I escaped to another place and time,
Thunderclouds, black as the fear raging in my gut,
Dark and dismal as that night my world caved in.
Lost, alone and screaming with fright…
Disconnected wires in my brain,
Cotton filled and twisted out of form
It was last night I believe
They took me away and brought me to this place.
In spite of the deluge and the devil’s voices in my head
I wish I were outside dancing in the rain barefooted,
With my long auburn hair
Tossed about by the wind
Crying and laughing at the same time
At the absurdity of it all,
And if lightning were to strike me dead
It would be the demon’s voices that brought me to this place,
Running scared, screaming out in fear
As fiendish voices commanded me to die.
It is a sultry, idle sort of day
But just like any other day
Something happened that made me forget where the flowers grew.
Shock was induced to
Those disconnected wires in my brain
That set my soul afire
Screaming out in terror and in pain
A kind of pain that I never will forget,
As if a cinder block wall was erected between the world, and myself
Even if I were dancing in the rain barefooted,
My long auburn hair
Tossed about in the wind,
It would be in some other realm
That only I could see or hear-
And on an idle sort of day
But in some other space and time
Autumn like perhaps
Imprisoned between these concrete white walls and a Plexiglas window
There were so many things I do not recall, but I shall always remember
What a delight summer could be
And as I lie upon this hard blue mattress just thinking of myself
Dancing in the rain
With the trees swaying in the wind on
The other side of that cinderblock wall,
Where the foliage upon the trees
Was somewhat bashful yet, and
On this idle sort of day,
I might even remember
Where the flowers used to grow…


Claudia Krizay