Talking To God, Probably... Poem by RK

I look inside my heart
Look inside my mind and soul
My thoughts end then restart
Still Your mystery don’t unfold…

All my thoughts and feelings
They seem to be constricted
As You appear so concealing
Or have You ever existed?

My question is quite simple
But the answer to me seems hard
As You fluctuate from temple
To Mosque or Church’s yard…

This question I have mentioned
To pundits and the priests
“His existence shalt not be questioned”
While some labeled me “ATHEIST”…

“Thou ignorant, thou unaware
His presence forever gleams
Thou shalt be bewared
Thou shalt be afraid of Him”…

“His touch can give thou bliss
He can lead thou through pain’s path
Then thou shalt know Who He’s
When thou suffer His wrath”…

Others said You’re kind, fair
Just, to those who search for Thee
“Shalt I love God, shalt I fear? ”
A new question popped up in me…

While some were quite patient
To respond to my inquisition
But I was still unpleasant
Roaming with dissatisfaction…

So, in quest of my answer
The Holly Books I went through
They said You’re The Above, Master
The mortals’ eyes cannot see You…

Many religions to be conceived
Some accepted, some refused
Describing religion as perceived
But they all made me confused...

You speak different languages
Depending on Bible, Geetah, Quraan
You kept changing with edges
Are You several, are You one?

Many Gods worshipped by Hindus
One Allah for the Muslims
Messengers were sent by You
For Christianity’s stream…

Some believe You’re nonexistent
Some are followers of Buddhism
While some are just resistant
Don’t follow You, that’s Satanism…

Male and female Gods from Mythology
Romans, Greeks even have pictures
Yet again I seek for apology
They made me dubious about Your gender…

The Pagans dressed You up great
I guessed I’d at last see your face
You looked beautiful in that state
But to be frank, You seemed lifeless…

There have been many religions
Within them are several sects
Now You make Your decision
And tell me which You is perfect?

Some said You're above there
I looked up but couldn’t see
Retarded with my brown stare
Again I looked inside of me…

I have never seen Your face
But sometimes I think I've seen
I’m always lost without a trace
Keep wandering, where You've been?

People talk about Your wonders
But I wonder about Your creations
Should I blame You for the thunders
Or are the people causing destructions?

Equipped with religious faith
People fight for Your cause
Maybe You blessed them with
War; It’s peace…Or curse?

Politicians spreading fake words
Using You just to be voted
Hey! Did You create the world
Or were You created?

Disheartened as I can be
I thought I will let You go
Off mind; But this curiosity
To find You, thus and so…

I searched You in my pocket
At depart-mental store, in gunny
Instead, I grabbed my wallet
And You appeared money…

I searched You upside down my stair
Searched the ceiling, searched the ground
I searched You everywhere
But You were never found…

I searched You in my bookshelf
You were three letters in dictionary
Enveloped in noun, saw Yourself
You were too intransitive, verbally…

So, I thought I'd walk my own way
Built on my faith, thus I ride
I wish I don’t go astray
When I am for me as my guide...

I’ve beliefs to carry my life through
As variation is Your notion
It doesn’t mean I don’t think of You
But I no longer ask my question…

You'll probably put me through hell
Offended You, maybe it wasn't fair
I’ve heard heaven's alluring tale
But still I do not care...

This world is quite enough
I enjoy every single moment
So, I pray if You're above
And of course, if You’re present...

I’ve heard a thing called rebirth
Do me a favor if You can
I may not be of worth
But still, please make me human...

I know You aren’t time or air
They always seem to quit us
Yet You’re invisibly everywhere
I heard You’re ubiquitous…

Maybe You enjoy invisibility
Maybe You’re shy to be visible
I’ll still search for You in “Humanity”
And last request to You, if possible…

Put people on right track; make aware
Of their might; it seems to be spent
On wrong purposes with their power
But I heard You’re omnipotent…

So, I won’t ask You to bless
me; nor I’ll shout for my bliss
Just make this earth a better place
And give all a little peace…

And I beg pardon, I am sorry
If I questioned Your about
It’s hard to believe Who I can't see
I'm just a human with my doubts...

Oh! To ask You, I forgot
Until the day I die
Again, hope I offend You not
Would You be by my side?

Anyways, I know someday I’ll die
Maybe then I’ll see You somewhere
Jail of Hell or Heaven’s sky
Again, who on the earth cares…

“Hey! Who on earth you think you’re talking?
There’s no body I can see! ”
Oh God! Thought You were walking
When I looked inside of me
Who knows...
Maybe it was Thee…
Probably…