The Ballad Of Chloe Shaw Poem by Timothy Long

The Ballad Of Chloe Shaw



Why must love fade? Was A thought to many people, let alone young adults. In particular, it defined the life of one such young adult named Chloe Shaw. The girl of northeastern decent hailed from the cascade mountain area of New York state. Late in the evening, walked a silent shadow belonging to a teenage girl, she was lost in thought, if one was to look closely, they would see her shivering with a despondent look on her face. Why do they hate me she thought, her mind racing a mile a minute, was it her quirkiness or her flare for the dramatic? All the negative comments and bullying got to her, why must I deserve this, she said out loud, tearing up while doing so. The walk didn't help her any, she tried being bright, she tried smiling but it all felt so fake. It wasn't just the comments she fell for; it was also the emptiness she felt for life. People telling her she's worthless, a weirdo, that she's a bother to those she knows. It's finally the one most repeated to her too, the word she regrets hearing and seeing, you should kill yourself! She tried to keep moving forward but the energy left her to collapse at the face of a cedar flat tree. Chloe started sobbing uncontrollably, partly angry at her bullying but also where her life was heading. Chloe wanted to feel something different compared to numbness. Acceptance and letting go is what she craved, she once again with dried tears and erratic eyes wondered how does she go about it.

The wind started to pick up, sending shivers and coldness throughout her full body, in a bitter way it's exactly what she needed to wake her up from her emotional coma. Slowly looking up she was startled to see a full moon, she pondered for a moment how long she was in her emotional daze and how long she been out in the night. Slowly and shakily getting up, she started trudging through the deep woods using only her shallow breaths and moonlight to find her way back home.

As she was walking back home, she had more bewildered and amusing thoughts that bewildered herself, she wondered what it would be like if people would be like her. She continued to strive forward and was amused at the same time. She was left thinking that the same thing would happen to other people if they had the same mind as hers, could they be as strong as her, could they last long as her body has, in a twisted fashion she pondered if she ended her life, would they feel remorse or would they fail later in life feeling like they once did.
As she was coming out of her own thoughts, she almost missed the small ledge where she would have tumbled down the rest of the hill. Sobering up immediately after the thought of death which could have come from the hill. Her heart was still racing but was struck by an ironic thought of just an hour ago she wanted to kill herself desperately, but now she wanted nothing more to live. When she is sober death scares her, she is afraid of death and when her emotions are in control she doesn't have the courage to do so, it's only when she has a mental block and at her lowest can she only do the unthinkable. Arriving home shortly after midnight, she was slightly bruised and a quiet mess, she decided to take a shower to calm her nerves. Walking into the bathroom, she was struck by her image in a mirror, just a year ago her image would be smiling full of glee, now looking at herself in the present time all she sees is a face full of emptiness. Is it social media to blame? Before having an online presence, Chloe was happy with her family and friends she made at a special arts school. Then one day, she thought to herself why not make friends online and expand her knowledge of others. At first it went well, however by then she was being bullied for her quirky and eccentric personality. It didn't stop there; they took it to another level by targeting her looks and figure.
Coming down exhausted from her episode of manic depression, she realized she was going to throw her life away just from the things that she can delete from her life. Why not delete her social media? it would be simple to delete it and never open those sites again. What did she get out of online life? Was it the allure of being praised for her looks or how intelligent and funny she can be? It shouldn't matter in the long stroke of things. She sighed as she can feel a headache forming, getting into the hot shower after such a long and freezing night made the racing thoughts freeze in place. Putting on her pajamas, she didn't feel comfortable again until she put her head on the pillow, she let the darkness consume her no longer fighting the terror that is reality.