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Scarlet .....

The Battle

in this battle called depression
there are so many soldiers
but we all fight it alone
and in our own ways
only few make it through it
only few live on
most die
die alone
some fight just to get by
I was one that just got by
I did that for four years
but I am sick of just blending into the background
I’m sick of suffering in silence
I’m sick of you thinking I have such an easy life
for you look at me and I can see you judging me your eyes
I am sick of you thinking I feel no pain
just because you do not see it
doesn’t mean it is not there
for I suffer everyday
but I hold it all in
for that is just who I am
I am sorry if I am not an open person
I am sorry if I don’t break down and cry every time I am in pain
if I did the tears would never stop
for I live in pain
I have lived like this for so long
that the pain no longer bothers me
it is you that bothers me
for you act like I am a spoiled brat
even though I work my ass of to get good grades
even though I have held a job since I was 12
even though I help out everyday
I am sorry that you think that is not enough
I am sorry I am not the daughter you always wanted
for I will never be that smiley little girl
the one that nothings bothers her
the ne who just agrees with you opinion
for I have my own opinion on everything and I am proud of that
I will never be that bubbly fake little girl that you want
sorry but that is just not me
so that is it I am sick of being that one that just fought to get by
I went through that phase of just wanting to die
but I am sick of that as well
for I have not even began living my life
I need to live my life before I die
so I now will be the one who lives
I do not care I will fight
I will do whatever it take
for I want to live my own life

Submitted: Friday, May 18, 2007
Edited: Sunday, February 27, 2011

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