The Beauty Of My Fears Poem by Kellyn, A Grau

Broken smiles taint the air around my world
I promise I’m doing fine just listen to the cry
The way my voice breaks away and silence taints the air
I can’t keep playing with pretend because it’s starting to show
The tears are building up inside and I’m about to burst
The way I bite my lip to hold back the way I hurt
Could you look into my eyes and see all that pain
Would you understand I have no one to blame
I try so hard to please the world but now I’ve forgotten something
The way my heart jumps up and down when you come into play
I cannot keep this up any longer for my heart aches to talk
To tell you what is on my mind but should I keep it locked
I have the power to play pretend and I have mastered deceit
I’ll shove away any hope of love because I’m scared to heal
If I allow someone to come in and push past all my fears
Will I be broken again or will I be just fine
I guess I can only wait with time
But forgive me if I’d wait forever for the one I care for the most
Perhaps its wrong for me to keep on living with false hope
I’ve tried to push and pull you near but nothing seems all right
And now I’m battling with my self and I don’t know how to win this fight
I need a little guidance here but will I hear it out
Will I open up my mind and fill up with doubt
I pray to see the truth one-day and see if I have failed
But maybe one day I’ll let you in and my heart will prevail