The Cheese Sandals Of Jesus (After Andrei Codrescu) Poem by James P. Roberts

Jesus left the desert on the twentieth day
not the forty the Bible tells us

Satan tempted Him with a wedge of cheese
& transported the future Savior to Wisconsin

the native peoples told Jesus
of the Holy Grail of Cheese hidden

in a cave perched high on the bluffs
overlooking the Great Father Water

Jesus accepted Satan's sampler of cheese &
made a pair of holy sandals light yellow

in color -when He slipped the sandals
on His bony callused feet the holes in the holy

cheese formed a buoyant bubble
to show His faith in the cheese Jesus walked on the water

& did not sink -the native peoples then carved
an effigy mound in His shape & His face

was exactly as on the Shroud of Turin
Night fell -Jesus went into the Garden to pray for a Sign

Satan appeared & brought Jesus out of Wisconsin
& back to the desert to finish out twenty more days

This is when Jesus had His Great Epiphany
on the fortieth day He walked out of the desert

(okay, the Bible "was" right)wearing His cheese sandals
& carrying a Holy Book -The Gospel of Cheese

which He read to His gathered Apostles
A tiny flame of Faith shone above their heads

& the Apostles dispersed into the world
spreading the Word of the Cheese

Jesus was left alone & captured by the Romans
After Judas sold his piece of cheese for thirty silver pieces

Pontius Pilate did not have any good cheese
& no amount of persuasion could induce Jesus

to reveal the Secret of the Cheese so Pilate
had Jesus beaten & crucified but on the third day

a miracle occurred -Jesus arose from the Dead
His Spirit returned to Wisconsin & He settled among

the native peoples sharing with them the Way of the Cheese
& that's why Wisconsin always has the best & holiest Cheese.