The Christmas Toad
Though it is dark and its children few,
Santa Claus comes to Ribbonwood too,
He does not come in an open sleigh,
Nor does he walk on his feet all day,
Instead, he hops down the forest road,
On the back of Old Jimmy, the Christmas Toad.
Old, faithful Jimmy is massive but spry,
His collar's lined with jingle bells, his face is short one eye.
When Santa finds children, naughty or good,
On his way through the hollows of Ribbonwood,
He whispers in the ear of his fat, warty steed,
Whose tongue flies out with lightning speed,
For nice little children, Jimmy vomits up a gift,
For naughty little children, his punishment is swift,
His long, slimy tongue encircles their legs,
Then he simply slurps them up, like over-easy eggs.
If you're naughty dear old Santa isn't difficult to goad,
But it's difficult to run from the hungry Christmas toad.
Now don't ever complain when Santa leaves a lump of coal,
At least he spared your wicked self from being swallowed whole.
Be careful boys and girls, because Jimmy's stomach smells,
And think twice when you hear the happy sound of jingle bells.
Remember, Jimmy's justice is delivered in one slurp,
And the Christmas fun is over with a holly, jolly burp.
Leland D'Elormie's Other Poems
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