Claudia Krizay (1/28/1956 / Washington DC)
I cannot forget the circle – that small enclosure where I had always lived my dreams
I cannot forget the moments when I could see outside of that circle,
Although I rarely stepped outside - there was a whole world out there.
When I took my first step outside upon that day I recall so well-
The creek that seemed to crawl upward toward mountains of bewilderment,
And in that creek, amidst sparkling ripples in the water, seemingly ignited by sunlight-
It could have been scenic to another, but to me all I remember was
Seeing my reflection which I could hardly accept as true- that face I saw,
Eyes like daggers that could have killed the strangers who owned the world out there and
The tears that fell from those eyes as rain from an early storm- “Why, ”
I asked myself “did I ever step out of my own confinement where
Voices sang sweet and soft tunes and spoke to me with all of their gentleness,
In a soft, non-threatening monotone, and I knew for certain, as I knew I was
Not destined to be born into that world out there- I was the one who could
Hear the voices of seraphs, those who spoke only to me?
Skies darkened within that storm, thunder roared and lightening seized my
Baffled, destitute spirit, I felt as if I was drowning in the rain that
Blinded me in its intensity when the hellish strangers, as would
The wind of a cyclone- came and took me away?
I cannot forget my circle, that small enclosure where I lived my dreams,
My fantasy world, my own private space where I felt safe-
The day I ventured forward, to take a step outside, I was robbed of
My phantasmal kingdom where I was free to sing, never hesitating to speak
To my companions who shared my territory, though it may have been imagined?
Now I find myself trapped inside a different sort of circle where others
Come through and exit through its door with monotonous regularity?
I hear no angels singing here, and here I cannot sing or speak- as
I cannot trust these intrusive strangers who I feel have robbed me of my sanity?
I always think of the creek outside my circle where I could see my reflection,
But more often I think of the safety of the walls about my circle that protected me- and
Finally I believe I understand now that I can carry my fortress toward wherever I walk
As this fortress is none but imagined- and I thank those magical seraphs everyday for
Giving me the gift of my dreams, all I have to do is close my eyes and
I am boarding an imaginary ship that carries me away and now I begin to sing once more
With gratitude that my own special circle surrounds me, no matter which path I take.
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